Reflections
by girlofmanynames
Summary: PG just in case. I'm paranoid.
1. in Moonlight

I lay there, on my back, and looked out my window. It was across from my bed, and I hadn't bothered to draw the curtains. The moonlight streamed through at an angle, casting half my room in its silvery light, leaving the other half in darkness. Unfortunately, my bed, which I was lying on, was mostly in the light, leaving me under the scrutiny of any who cared to. Not that I cared though, very few would do such a thing. Not the annoying girls who always tried to get my attention, no, they wouldn't dare, they wouldn't be up at this time anyways. Not Kakashi, he wouldn't get his nose out of that book for anything. Naruto? I laughed softly to myself at that thought. He should be sleeping too by now. And why would he want to look at me at all?

I closed my eyes and sighed, my eyes fluttering open again as a shadow was cast on me. Just a cloud. I waited until it passed and let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding. I don't often do this, just lying here, doing nothing. Normally, I'd train until very late and be too tired to do anything but sleep. But what did I do today? Why aren't I asleep already? That's why I don't like the moonlight. It makes me forget mundane things, everyday things that I shouldn't forget. I sighed again, and turned to my side. I closed my eyes slightly and curled up. A flood of memories hit me. This is just like _that_ night. Oh God, how long has it been? Since _that_ moonlight night? Moonlight, I hate it, I hate the moon and the soft, shimmering light it casts. Seemingly pure, but not at all innocent, with the secrets it hides. It makes me forget things I want to remember and forget things I need to forget...

Itachi, my brother. So much blood. Why did he have to kill them? Mother and Father, everyone in the clan... why? I hate him. More than anything, I hate him. He killed everyone I held dear, he left me alone. No, nearly alone. I hate him, yes. I want to kill him for what he did, to avenge our parents and the clan, also true. He told me to hate him, and I did, I do, I tried. But deep down, I still love him. I love him as the brother that he is. He is the brother who was never there, the brother who never cared, but he is still my brother. I think, that sometime after the initial fears, the initial rage and tears, I had came to accept everyone's death, and I wondered why he didn't take me with him, why, did he spare me and left me behind? There are times that I, secretly, hoped that he'd come back to claim me, to take me along with him. He never came.

Does he despise me that much to cause me so much pain? Did I bother him so much that he'd kill the clan just to hurt me? If it was my fault, then, I'm sorry. I'm sorry Itachi. I'm so very sorry, big brother. Come back, I don't want to be alone any more. I don't want to hate you, because then I'd have no one to love. I don't want tot kill you, because then I'd have nothing to live for. I clutched my head and curled up tighter. I remember that time so clearly. He had used the _tsukiyomi _on me. I saw their deaths, my parents, _our _parents. I squeezed my eyes shut, and felt tears forming under my lashes. I want to scream out in frustration, I want to scream just like that time I did out of fear, rage, and pain. But when I opened my mouth, no sound would come. So I just lay there, curled up as tight as I could on my bed, clutching my head and with my eyes squeezed shut, and screamed a silent, wordless scream.

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Notes

I have no clue how this works. Since this is my first post here, I'll bs everything. Haha. I need an opinions person. A tough critic. Because everyone I've showed this to said this was good. Constructive criticism people!

I understand this didn't make sense, and you probably won't get it. But you know what? I don't get this neither. I just suddenly decided to write this after looking at a piece of fanart. So screw you. (This contradicts with my previous paragraph)


	2. of All that Was and Is

_Sasuke_.

I stopped. I lowered my head and closed my eyes. Sasuke? I turned and saw Kisame looking at me with interest and amusement, but he did not ask. I don't stop like that without reason. He knows that if it's important to the both of us, I would share it, but he would not ask. He's afraid of me, as most are. I'm not very old though, I'm not even 20 yet. But I feel so old, so weary. I closed my eyes and turned back, took a step forward before I opened them again, keeping at the course we were taking.

I kept on walking, with Kisame following not far behind. Why did I suddenly think of you Sasuke? I recall nothing that I did recently that would remind me of you.1

_Sasuke_. My mind whispered to me again. I took a breath and slowly blinked several times, not pausing, not showing anything. I think Kisame knows though, he has become quite accustomed to my ways.

I pressed on for a while, not that we were in any hurry, we were actually going back to report, it's just that it is not our custom to stop so soon. When we finally stopped at a small clearing beside a stream to rest, I took care to carefully conceal my actions while I stood facing the direction where the Konoha is. It may look like I was merely observing the surroundings. But really, I was, against my will, thinking of you. Sasuke, my little brother.

What troubled me was the unrelated and sudden thought of you. Had something happened to you? Are you hurt? I frowned in annoyance and felt my eyes narrow. My blood-red eyes. The eyes that I share with you, among many other things. We are brothers, through and through. We're so alike in everything, our appearances, manners of speech and action. So alike are we that I became afraid, terrified, that you might fall into the same trap I had. Consumed by the same darkness.

I don't hate you Sasuke, you'll always be my little brother. That's why I had to kill them, our parents. To free you. You won't understand until much later, but for now, little brother, hate me like I told you so.

Please, Sasuke, be alright. I hope you're not hurt. Sasuke, are you thinking of me? Is that why I thought of you? Did you, somehow, send your thoughts of me across a brotherly bond that we shared and therefore causing me to think of you?2 I laughed at that, in my mind. My eyes softened in amusement. I bet you'd never think of me as such a romantic Sasuke. You would never willingly believe that your cruel cruel elder brother have the nerves to think of you so tenderly would you?

I miss you, little brother. This sudden remembrance of you worries me. I had spoken to Kisame and he had agreed this one request of mine. He was to report back to the Akatsuki alone while I go back to the Konoha to see you. Despite of what you may have believed of me, I still care very much for you. I had to force myself to neglect you when we were still together. I must apologize if you still feel bad about that. I don't know what spurred me into this. It is extremely unlike me, but I feel that I must, patch up what's left of our little 'relationship'. Wait for me Sasuke. I will come for you, my beloved little brother.

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Notes

1 Lalala. My sister pointed this out when she read it. Your time frame's odd. When was this happening. Well, since this was written a bit after Orochimaru attacked Konoha, and Itachi visited, she thought it's that time frame. So the no reminding thing doesn't work out. But this is written as a sequel to the first chapter, which was intended as a stand-alone thingie. So nothing really works out here. Please think of this as a 'time-less' piece and don't ask. I don't wanna think. 

2 LOL. This was inspired when discussing our AN 2004 cosplay skit. We were talking about making Itachi like Ayame from Fruits Basket. It was simply too good to let go.

Hm. This piece is drastically different from the Sasuke one. To me at least. It was very soft spoken but the topics moved quite quickly from paragraph to paragraph. Covering a whole bunch of topics in a short amount of time. And if I write any more in my notes, I'll rival my story. ;;


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